This post is dedicated to all the people suffering from Fibromyalgia, M.S., Lupus, Cancer, Scoliosis, Arthritis, Diabetes, Depression, Anxiety, etc. Anyone suffering from health problems, or anyone who is having a difficult time with circumstances in life. I have this pain syndrome called Fibromyalgia, 3 spots of Scoliosis and Arthritis and a mess of other stuff all linked together. Of coarse along with that comes depression and other emotional issues that are all linked to the pain. I have learned how to overcome this depression and at the same time I get strength, joy, love, and encouragement all from a simple little trick I have learned from King David in the Bible. But first a little more background on me…
The first year I was diagnosed was the worst year of my illness. And my Life. I was put on 8 or 9 prescriptions by my Doc. Slowly I became worse and worse. Within 6 months I was in more pain, more depressed, and bedridden. So they put me on anti-depressants, and that gave me anxiety attacks and panic attacks, and turned my brain into mush. There were days that I couldn’t even talk if my pain was too much, my brain couldn’t even form sentences. I couldn’t even answer the phone without having a panic attack. There were days I really had to focus on just breathing I was in so much pain I literally had to work at taking small shallow breaths to keep my pain levels down. Taking a full breath was extremely painful. My rib cage would be swollen and the arthritis from the winter cold, snow, & rain was unbearable. (My scoliosis curve is so bad it is starting to push on my lungs and heart.) I quickly learned that doctors aren’t listening to me and making me worse.
One of the lovely symptoms I have is reverse sensitivities or ultra-sensitivities to medicines. In fact I have had this problem all my life. My mom found it out when I was 5yrs old and she gave me Benadryl for chicken pox. It made me hyper and itchy! The doc had me on Neurontin, it gave me more pain, more depression, and it was killing my nerve endings. I was cutting my hands when cooking and not feeling it but seeing the blood gush everywhere. I would tell the Doc I wanted off the pills and wanted to try the Gaps Diet (God was leading me to the Diet) and of coarse he dismissed the diet and gave me more of the same pills. The same thing happened with the anti-depressants, I was more depressed, crying daily, panic attacks, and anxiety attacks. A different Doc did the same thing, more pills, and by no means can you go off the meds. I quickly learned that I needed to find a Doc that would work with me and due to circumstances I had turned to God in desperation because I seriously was praying every day for God to take me. I did not want to live, but as a Christian I would not consider suicide, I would beg God to take me, in any way possible.
I also learned that some family, some friends, and some church family also would not listen. Over the next 3 years I lost a lot of these people. The rejection, lack of their desire to understand or plainly even accept that what I was telling them I felt was truth. They wouldn’t and didn’t want to believe I was sick. When I would get healing or relief from a new medicine or food and get excited to tell them I was met with negativity. “You aren’t getting healing, You will never heal,” are some examples of what people would tell me, or sometimes they would even laugh and scoff at me.
Of coarse when you are bedridden and unable to socialize and get out to hang out with friends, the gossip goes crazy. Some visitors that would come over, I could tell by just how they talked to me, that they thought it was all in my head. A lot of gossip and wrong information was being passed around. I honestly don’t think people realize what Gossip really is, or that they are even doing it. It was really frustrating to finally get to an social event (mind you it took me 2 weeks to prepare and physically get ready to go to a social event and then 2 weeks to recover physically) and have people telling me and sometimes yelling at me what I was doing wrong and what I needed to do. That was frustrating because I hadn’t even told them a single thing about my illness, we had never talked about it! How can someone know my health regimen is all wrong when they have never even talked to me about it? Gossip is how. This happened to me a lot. These types of social let downs just kept getting worse and worse. I started closing myself off. Why would I want to be around these people? I was swimming in negativity, opinions, judgment and gossip. I was swimming in unbelief that I was even sick and unbelief that I could be healed. Any hope I had, would turn into despair by the time my visit was over. This kind of socializing makes my pain levels skyrocket, and usually makes me need to leave ASAP. I have a hard time communicating when in pain and talking to people can frustrate me so much that it will zap my energy levels down to 0 instantly. Energy that I need to fight the pain. Energy that my body needs to simply function. When my energy is gone it is not uncommon for me to collapse in tears to the floor. I simply cannot stand, my legs will collapse, my muscles cannot take it. Having that happen in public is not fun.
After 6 months of dreams and visions, about 20 in total, I finally figured out what God was telling me…go into the wilderness. He told me through my dreams that going into the Wilderness will bring me healing. I needed to just stop being around all the negativity, gossip, opinion, rejection, un-belief, judgment, lack of compassion. I was turning into those things. Being around all these influences, was turning me into the same thing. I did not like what was coming out of my mouth, how I would judge someone instantly for a piece of gossip I heard. I was finding myself gossiping, the last thing I wanted to do, especially since I know personally how damaging it is. I was full of negativity and filling up with un-belief, which would fill me with doubt on where God was leading me. I would waste hours of time on finding information about peoples “suggestions” on my health regimen. This was distracting me from God’s health regimen for me. These social issues were distracting me from THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON = JESUS/YESHUA my savior. I needed to surround myself with people of like minds. People that are positive and supportive. I would never heal otherwise, so I have simply stopped some people from being in my life at all. These Distractions needed to go. And no I am not writing this post out of bitterness or un-forgiveness. I have forgiven everyone, you can’t have a close relationship with God if you are harboring un-forgiveness and bitterness. Bitterness alone can destroy a person. I wasn’t allowed to post this until I have gotten healing from these issues, even though I have been working on this post in my head for months. I am in the ‘wilderness for many other reasons, not just social issues. God has given me a calling and that is part of the reason why I am in the Wilderness. He is preparing me for a job that I am so excited about, but can’t tell you just yet.
I also have God as my physician now, He leads my health regimen DAILY! My last Doc (gone through 3 now) won’t listen and keeps giving me the wrong stuff even though I told him 3 times that is making me bad. Still almost a year later, I am still working on fixing this Doc’s “mistake”. His medicine gave me overactive thoughts/insomnia –I was only getting 3 hours of sleep for 5.5 months, anger that turned into uncontrollable rage, and then crying fits that turned into hyperventilating. Ya…almost a year later and God has almost healed that. So God is my Physician. I and my close family are happy with His progress… after all how many people do you know like me that are on NO PERSCRIPTIONS at all!?!?!?!? Only God can do that, he has me on HIS medicines. All natural God made products. Most people like me are on at least 20 different prescriptions. Not being on these prescriptions has also save us $100’s and $100’s of dollars. Thank you God! The most important healing tool, is Jesus himself. Developing my relationship with Him, allowing the things of the Holy spirit to flow, (speaking in tongues, dreams visions, etc.) and devouring His Word. The Word is sharper than any two-edged sword and better able to heal than any surgeons blade. God is Jehovah Rapha ~the Lord that Heals. I still have a long way to go, but I have faith that God will heal me 100% in His timing and in His way. Not my way, mans way, or the Doctor’s way, but HIS WAY!
Enough background sad stuff, but I had to write about some of it, because I know that there are over 5 million women with Fibro that are suffering like me. This post is for them. For all the men and women out there suffering with M.S., Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Diabetes, Depression, Anxiety, Cancer, Arthritis, Scoliosis, etc. They understand what I am going through, because the people that I have talked to like me, have the same main problem, they feel like no one understands. Anyone that is suffering from health issues or going through a hard time of life, I have a secret to tell you…
YIT HAZIK! What is that you say? Yit Hazik! It is Hebrew: to make strong, encouraged, take heart, repair your soul, peace, to fortify, obstinate for God against evil, obstinate in Hope and Faith, harden ourselves against evil, make yourself stubborn for God, don’t give up, make yourself recovered, give yourself courage, to withstand the problem, grow mighty and valiant, to prevail. Oh yes this was King David’s secret to Joy. His secret to Warfare. A fantastic secret to fighting spiritual warfare as well. (Rabbi Jonathon Cahn has 2 FANTASTIC sermons on this. http://www.hopeoftheworld.org/)
Psalm 103:1-5 Of David.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (please read the whole Psalm, there is more)
What is David doing? He is snapping himself out of despair, he is focusing on God and all that God does for us, David is talking to his heart and soul and telling himself to delight in what is important= God. He is praising God and that is making him joyous. David praises God no matter what is happening, even if a king and his army is chasing him & trying to kill him. In I Samuel 30 (whole chap) where David and his people’s wives and daughters were taken captive, there houses were destroyed by fire, there belongings taken, they had nothing left. The people mourned and cried and were so upset that they were threatening to kill David. What does David do? David drew strength from God. He consulted God on what to do. He stopped his mourning and turned to God! And God lead David and only 400 men into battle and they recovered all the spoils, and all the captured wives and children.
That is my secret. This was King David’s secret. Praising God even if I am feeling like I am dying. Singing to God even though it hurts to breathe. Dancing to God even though I have a pain level of 10 out of 10. Praising Jesus/Yeshua brings you Joy, Joy brings you strength. Strength from God gives you the ability to do things you couldn’t do before.
For example. Dishes. I HATE dishes, my muscles are weak, so scrubbing on dishes brings me pain. I usually have to lay down for 2 hours after I do dishes to recover my body and it’s muscles! I HAVE TO sing praise and worship songs while I am doing dishes, it gives me the strength to do it by filling me with God’s Joy. God’s Joy drives away the pain. Praise and worship relieves pain! And yes, I dance like David did. II Samuel 6 describes how David danced with all his strength and was leaping into the air. He put his whole heart and soul into it. Not caring what people thought, only what God thought. It was all for God! Praising God with singing and dancing draws me closer to God, it puts me into The Spirit. I sing in tongues as well, praising God in His will. Allowing the Spirit to sing His song. The Holy Spirit brings healing. I physically cannot do ANY of these things on my own.
Dancing Gives me power in God. Even while I am writing this I have had to get up 5 or 6 times to do a little “Charismatic Shuffle” as my Grandpa N. used to call it. It keeps me in His Spirit while I am writing this. Otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to type this. Sitting in a chair with 3 spots of scoliosis, is the most painful thing for me to do. Without praise and worship and a little dancing I would not be typing this. It is how I cook food, work in the greenhouse, (greenhouse is also a prayer closet), forage and wild craft herbs and greens, take the dogs on walks 4 times a day, clean house, etc. It is how I do everything.
Without Yit Hazik I think I would be dead. Seriously! The pain affects people in ways that no one can comprehend unless you are living with that person or extremely close to them. My Husband has a friend that knows 4 or 5 women that have had Fibromyalgia, all are dead but me. They all committed suicide within the first couple of years. Seriously I don’t think I would be alive without Jesus/Yeshua and Yit Hazik! I think this is also something Jesus/Yeshua has taught me in preparation for the coming Tribulation. I believe in Post-Tribulation, and this trial I am going through is one way for God to teach me and to prepare me for what this world is shortly going to endure. I believe this will be a secret Christians will have to do A LOT of to get through the Tribulation.
Pain directs your life into darkness, Joy takes you into the Light. Joy=Life
No matter what is going on in your life, get your Yit Hazik on!
Here is 1 of my favorite Praise and Worship, Yit Hazik songs. I have a whole playlist. I am going to leave the comments open for you to add your favorite praise and worship songs. So please lets share wonderful encouraging praise and worship music with each other.
Julie Meyer Jewish Medley
Day after post: I love it when God puts a song in my heart and head when I wake up in the morning. Used to sing this at my childhood church. Reminds me of my Grandpa.