I have been having a lot of dreams and visions lately. This is a gift of the Holy Spirit that I had prayed for over 2 years. I have been praying some serious prayers over the last few years. For example. Give me the gift of Prophecy like Paul commands us to pray for. Give me the gift of visions and dreams like Joseph and Daniel, and help me to interpret them. Make me like David, make me strong, courageous, and bold, to proclaim your word. Help me to have the boldness to step up to my battle with Goliath. I want a relationship with you like John and Elijah had, put a burning desire in my heart for you and your Word. Teach me all the ways you communicate with us. Teach me Holy Spirit what is Truth. Holy Spirit convict and convince my heart. Excavate out of my mind and heart all false doctrine. Excavate all of Man’s theology and doctrine out of me. Tear down the strongholds and lies of Satan. (Prov 23:7 & John 8:44) Show me through the Word and the Holy Spirit what is Truth. Dump out my un-belief box and lets fill up the Belief box with Truth. I am tired of putting limitations on an all powerful God. Forgive me of my Un-Belief.
With these kinds of prayers He has been changing me. It does not surprise me that He has called me into the Wilderness, like so many of the examples I mentioned above. Instead of writing Psalms in the Wilderness like David, I have been told to write this blog! Which is actually quite funny, because this was the last thing I wanted to do. I am not a blogger type of person! So bear with me in my learnings and ramblings.
I have had a series of dreams. Some are repetitive. A lot of them are all linked together. But they have left me stumped for quite a while. I have been “sitting” on one dream for almost a year. They would repeat. I would get new, they dreams were flowing, I would get multiple dreams in a day. Then all of a sudden they stopped. It had been over a month since I had a dream/vision. It finally dawned on me that I hadn’t “seen” anything in a while so I asked. “God, why haven’t I had any dreams lately? Are you trying to communicate to me in a different way now? Why haven’t I had a dream?” The answer was simple, “You haven’t figured out the last one I gave to you!” Well that made me jump right in and pray earnestly. I Listened to His voice, listened to the Holy Spirit, dove into the Word, followed the clues and leads He gave me. I basically felt like he gave me a puzzle to figure out, and came to a lot of revelations about myself and my situation. I also got a LOT of direction. Like the call to go into the Wilderness. Prayers that I have been praying for years and months, Finally got answered. Several of my dreams that I thought were separate dreams, were all linked. I saw this huge puzzle unraveling before my eyes about how HE HAS been answering my prayers with my dreams for quite a while! I just wasn’t interpreting them right. I also think it was a matter of His timing too. My wilderness is where he is going to refine me like silver, in His Fire. (Psalm 12:6-7 & 66:10-12) I hope I can bare the flame! When I am done with my refining process I will be a Lioness.
For some that don’t know me at all, I am a very sick girl. I have Fibromyalgia, amongst other things and have had a fight with my health and with pain. I live in extreme pain daily. I have had a lot of persecution for medicines that I am on, I have been persecuted for my diet, my doctors, I have gotten persecution for my relationship with God, I can’t even tell people what God is doing in my life without either them freaking out, not listening, interrupting, ignoring me, or not accepting my answer. When this happens my emotions and frustrations get all worked up and I clam up. My pain skyrockets, it is also very hard for me to communicate because of my pain. So since I have been having a lot of social issues and need a lot of emotional healing because of it, He is taking me out of the game for a while. He doesn’t want me distracted by being social. It stresses me out too much, I honestly don’t find it fun anymore. A lot of my social issues stem from not feeling like I fit in, I need to be myself more. I haven’t been myself for a very very long time. So this blog is me being myself.
This last month I had a cold. For most people a cold is no big deal. A head cold for someone like me is torture. I literally was fighting for my life. I was in so much pain from all the coughing from the cold moving into my lungs. My muscles had a workout from the coughing. I have been having muscle spasms for 2 weeks straight because of it. That little cold made my pain erupt like a volcano. I was struggling to breathe. Yes the pain was so bad I was having problems breathing. The pain in my ribs from coughing was unbearable. The pain was so bad I was ready to puke. I couldn’t eat. I lost weight. It takes me forever to gain weight. It is virtually impossible for me to gain it. Jeff (hubby) couldn’t even hug me. My spine hurt to the touch. I couldn’t even wear a sweater because of the weight and pressure it put on my spine. I also haven’t been sleeping right since July. 70% of my nights I only get 3 hours of sleep. So yes I have been fighting for my life.
And even after all of this I am still thankful for it. It made me stop everything, since I was physically incapable of functioning much, and it really forced me to focus on Jesus for pain relief. Which helped me focus on the dream that seemed to hold never ending revelations from God in so many areas in my life… I dove in and had so much fun being with Him and figuring our what He is telling me. There is a lot that I can’t reveal about the dreams and there is so many things He wants me to share with you. Those will be in future posts. I know I am excited to tell you about them.
I will be posting a lot about my dreams/visions, End Times, learning Truth, learning about the Holy Spirit. I will be sharing a lot of them with you.
Part of my Wilderness is no friends. This one will be tough. I have friends with newborns I love dearly, newborns I haven’t even met. Baby belly’s that are ready to burst and have babies soon. Friends I was just starting to get to know. I will be missing a lot. I am sorry friends I will miss all of these beautiful events, but I have learned when God tells you to do something, you do it. When we are obedient, He blesses us. I am actually looking forward to my Wilderness. I need a break. I need to focus on Him and improve my relationship, improve on my learning to walk in the Spirit. It is one of the few ways I can get pain relief. I have to do this for myself and my health. I need my stress levels to go down 20 notches. So dear friends I am sorry to say goodbye for a while, but you can read my doings and learning’s here. I haven’t been on Facebook in a few days. I will be doing this on and off. I will be technology fasting. So really this first post is for everyone to know what is going on and why I up and disappeared all of the sudden.
Sorry to all of those that are reading this and want to comment. I will NOT be allowing comments on my blog for a couple reasons…
1. God said so. He doesn’t want me distracted by this.
2. I don’t want to spend 3 hours reading comments, when I could be spending 3 hours in conversation with God.
3. I don’t believe it is good for Christians to have theological debates online, they should happen in private. I feel it is a turn off for those that aren’t saved.
4. I don’t like debating. Plain and simple. I just don’t find it fun.
So I am signing off for now. My next post will be a dream God wants me to share with you!
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